It's Not What You Say

I'm always quoting my Mom & Dad. There's one thing my Mom has said to me over and over my entire life. "It's not what you say, it's how you say it." She has drummed this into me as long as I can remember.

I am a Myers-Briggs "T". That's someone who thinks first about whether or not a solution will solve a problem. I'm told I'm good at solving problems, but particularly when I was younger,

the manner in which I communicated my "brilliant" solution necessitated my Mom or some other sensitive soul in my life to remind me of my Mom's words.

"Gayle, it's not what you say, it's how you say it."

In fact, years ago, my partner at Richmond Theatre Company, Melissa Johnson, used to tell me, "That's a brilliant solution. Now, let's figure out a way to tell the staff, so they don't want to burn you in effigy."

I serve on the Board of Directors of an organization that is experiencing some growing pains. We're going through a transition and one of the folks scheduled to move into a leadership position is taking care of business. The need for getting things done is taking precedence over people's feelings.

Watching the carnage in the wake during this transition period my Mom's words keep echoing in my ears.

I'll leave you with another great woman's wisdom. Maya Angelou said, "People will forget what you say and they will forget what you do, but they will never forget how you made them feel."