Blog

Those seven words are famous. You hear them all the time. Churches, businesses, organizations,families, doesn’t matter where. They pop up especially when someone has behaved in a manner out of alignment with “The Way”.

“The Way” is culture. The Way embodies all of the unstated assumptions that have become accepted over time. I’m interested in understanding organization’s cultures. I, like most folks, want to fit in. I don’t want to look silly. I want to look like I belong. And so, I observe. I watch the ways everybody else comports themselves and I try to fit in, until its time to do otherwise.

The problem with culture is that its generally unstated. It’s assumed you know the proper way until you cross one or more of the invisible lines. Then its brought to your attention that “we” don’t behave that way and if you want to be one of “us”, you won’t either.

Culture has great value. It unites people. When you know the secret handshake it gives you the comfort of being one of the insiders. The problem with culture is its exclusive by nature. Because until you figure out the rules, you are an outsider.

I have an even greater interest in values, particularly stated values. Because when people are clear about an organization’s values they don’t have to guess about “The Way”. The Way is clear.

The only problem with stating your values is when you don’t behave according to them. Then anyone can see when you’re behaving hypocritically. Still, if your stated values are truly the values by which you wish to live your life; then you won’t mind when people draw your attention to your inadvertent deviations.

Then you can acknowledge your mistake and try again tomorrow. After all isn’t that they way you wish things were done around here. Wherever your “here” is.

My father, Warren Gayle Turner, Sr. was born July 29, 1929 in Richmond, VA. The maid picked him and said, “I don’t care what y’all call him. I’m calling him Buddy.” And he was Buddy until his dying day.

He had a way of making everything enjoyable.

I miss ya Daddy.

Every story I’ve ever heard about people who’ve done great things has included a piece about how when the hero was growing up someone offered moral support. Someone affirmed the hero in their formative years.

I have been extremely lucky in that I have had numerous people over the years support my efforts. From early childhood my parents told me I could. My sister told me I could. Betty Davis, my choir teacher at Thomas Jefferson High School, told me I could. Joe Davis, the director who cast me in my first professional show, told me I could. Tom Laughon, my creative partner for 35 years, told me I could. Stuart Sanders, who taught me how to be a consultant, told me I could.

There have been others and I continue to be deeply appreciative for their belief in me. Their confidence in my ability has helped me persevere in the face of all the people over the years who have told me I couldn’t.

Particularly, that small voice in my own head when times have been tough that’s tried to tell me I couldn’t.

The world is facing a tough time right now. People are scared and in many cases not working together as well as they might.

That said, hear me when I tell you, You Can!

You can make a difference. You can find common ground with other people. You can find a way to work with people in your families, businesses and communities, near and far, to accomplish your dreams.

So, when the little voice in your head tries to tell you, you can’t. Listen closely and I hope you hear me tell you, “You can!”

And then take the time to find someone and tell them they can, too.

Because as my Daddy, Warren Turner, used to say, “There’s nothing you and I can’t handle, one bite at a time.”

Daddy would have been 82 today. He’s been gone for 19 years and I still miss him something awful. But I continue to forge on, because I continue to hear him tell me “You Can!’ and I’m telling you, you can, too.

So, get out there and do something worthy of our faith in you. Because I know you can.

I’m always quoting my Mom & Dad. There’s one thing my Mom has said to me over and over my entire life. “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” She has drummed this into me as long as I can remember.

I am a Myers-Briggs “T”. That’s someone who thinks first about whether or not a solution will solve a problem. I’m told I’m good at solving problems, but particularly when I was younger,

the manner in which I communicated my “brilliant” solution necessitated my Mom or some other sensitive soul in my life to remind me of my Mom’s words.

“Gayle, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”

In fact, years ago, my partner at Richmond Theatre Company, Melissa Johnson, used to tell me, “That’s a brilliant solution. Now, let’s figure out a way to tell the staff, so they don’t want to burn you in effigy.”

I serve on the Board of Directors of an organization that is experiencing some growing pains. We’re going through a transition and one of the folks scheduled to move into a leadership position is taking care of business. The need for getting things done is taking precedence over people’s feelings.

Watching the carnage in the wake during this transition period my Mom’s words keep echoing in my ears.

I’ll leave you with another great woman’s wisdom. Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you say and they will forget what you do, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

My daddy (Warren Gayle Turner, Sr.) was a wise man and I quote him a lot. He used to say, “Do something. I can fix wrong. I can’t fix nothing.” This bias for action is part of my DNA and it influences my work with my clients. In today’s world, speed to market is frequently the difference between success and failure. Windows of opportunity open and close with startling speed.

Are you interested in the following?

• Cutting through the clutter
• Getting a clearer understanding of your current situation
• Discerning your options
• Making decisions your people will commit to and be willing to be held accountable
• Getting results

Reach Out When the Time Is Right

Then I’d like to encourage you to subscribe to my blog. When you feel comfortable with my message and format I’d look favorably on an invitation to join your Linked-In network. And when the time is right reach out and let’s talk. I may be or good fit as a speaker or we may discover I might be able to help you lead your organization more quickly and decisively toward the results you want.